What Is Nervous System Dysregulation?

The following is an excerpt from my book, The Anti-HSV Cauldron: The 4-Week Plan for Reducing HSV Flares.

I don’t mind telling you that in the beginning I used to focus only on treating my herpes symptoms, but as flares became more frequent, I started paying attention to HSV triggers. But my outbreaks didn't fully line up with those things. What I mean by this is that I couldn’t relate my outbreaks to the same things every time. For example, I could eat a ton of arginine-rich foods, and herpes wouldn’t reactivate, but a couple of months later, after doing the same thing, it might result in a rash of blisters. There was no pattern.

For nearly a decade, I suffered from frequent and severe outbreaks, often back to back. Trying to avoid herpes was all hit and miss for me. No matter how well I kept records on possible triggers, I was left feeling as though the Herpes Simplex Virus had control over my body and I had none. I felt lost, confused, angry, and hopeless.

The only trigger I had noticed over all of the years of taking “notes” about my symptoms was that feeling “unsafe” almost always preceded an outbreak. But, although I knew it was stress-related, I didn’t understand why, so I didn’t know what to do about it. Trying to relax didn’t change a thing. Simplifying my life, avoiding social pressures, getting more organized, meditation, therapy, positive affirmations didn’t seem to affect my outbreaks one way or another.

It wasn’t until I ran across information about Nervous System Dysregulation that I began to understand what was happening and exactly why herpes was constantly reactivating. Herpes wasn’t the problem at all. Herpes was only a symptom of a deeper problem going on in my system. This clarity changed the way I approached everything about living with herpes. Allow me to explain.

Your nervous system is designed to constantly adjust to what is happening inside you and around you. When functioning well, it moves smoothly between states of being alert and focused, relaxed, at ease, tired, and ready for rest or sleep. Nervous System Dysregulation (NSD) occurs when your nervous system stops responding flexibly and becomes stuck in survival mode, even when you're not in any immediate danger. In other words, your body keeps acting as if something is wrong, even when it is not, even when your mind may not be aware of it.

The human nervous system is usually divided into two main parts: the Central Nervous System (brain and spinal cord), which is the main control and processing center, and the Peripheral Nervous System (all the nerves that branch out from the brain and spinal cord to the rest of the body, including nerves that carry information to the CNS and commands from the CNS.

The Peripheral Nervous System is then often divided further into the Somatic Nervous System, which controls voluntary actions (like moving your arm) and carries sensations like touch, pain, and temperature, and the Autonomic Nervous System, which controls automatic functions (things you don’t consciously manage) such as heart rate, digestion, breathing rate, blood pressure, etc.

 The Autonomic System has three major branches:

• Sympathetic Nervous System
• Parasympathetic Nervous System
• Enteric Nervous System

Your sympathetic nervous system triggers the fight-or-flight response, resulting in hypervigilance and a sense of urgency, which is useful when you are truly in danger but problematic when it remains unnecessarily activated. You might notice anxiety, constant tension, racing thoughts, shallow breathing, muscle tightness, digestive issues, trouble sleeping, or feeling tired but wired. More extreme signs include panic attacks or even agoraphobia.

Your parasympathetic nervous system is meant to help you rest and conserve energy. One thing that can happen when your nervous system is overloaded is the "freeze" response, which is often misunderstood. When this part of your nervous system takes over, you might experience exhaustion that does not improve with rest, numbness or emotional flatness, brain fog, low motivation, dissociation, or a feeling of heaviness or withdrawal much of the time, which is your body's survival response.

The enteric nervous system (ENS) is sometimes called the “second brain” because it is a large network of nerve cells that operates inside the digestive tract. It helps regulate digestion by controlling the movement of food through the intestines, the release of digestive enzymes, blood flow, and communication with gut immune cells. The ENS can work independently, but it also communicates constantly with the brain through the gut-brain connection. Stress signals from the brain can influence the gut, and signals from the gut can influence mood, inflammation, and immune activity. Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) can be a symptom of problems with the gut-brain connection.

Regarding HSV, the most directly affected part of the nervous system is the Sensory Nervous System within the Peripheral Nervous System, specifically sensory neurons that connect skin/mucosa to nerve ganglia.  

Nervous System Dysregulation (NSD)

Nervous System Dysregulation usually does not come from a single event. It's often the result of long-term strain, such as chronic stress, unresolved emotional or physical trauma, long-term illness or pain, including frequent herpes outbreaks, inflammation affecting nerve signaling, prolonged emotional suppression, or simply living in a state of having to cope for too long. Over time, the nervous system learns these survival patterns and automatically repeats them (a process referred to as looping). Plainly stated, long-term stress can cause NSD, and frequent herpes outbreaks can also cause NSD. Are you beginning to see now how long-term stress can cause more frequent outbreaks, and how frequent outbreaks can make NSD worse, which in turn causes more outbreaks? For some, it can be easy to get stuck in this loop.

When your nervous system is dysregulated, symptoms move around, lab tests may come back normal, rest does not fully restore you, and flare-ups seem unpredictable because you’re not looking in the right place. NSD is linked to pain, fatigue, and chronic conditions and illnesses, including more frequent or severe herpes outbreaks, because it can amplify pain signals, lower pain thresholds, disrupt sleep, alter digestion and immune responses, increase inflammation, and exhaust the body’s recovery systems. Your system isn't damaged. It is just overprotective and working overtime. It's been trying too long and too hard to keep you safe. It learned these patterns. But, because it learned them, it can unlearn them.

Remember what I said about feeling “unsafe? Chronically feeling “unsafe”, even on a subconscious level, can cause Nervous System Dysregulation. Feeling safe isn’t just about feeling safe physically. We can also feel “unsafe” emotionally, financially, socially, medically, or environmentally. And, we can feel unsafe when our own body repeatedly experiences the itch, burn, and pain of herpes outbreaks. All of these forms of “unsafety” feed into the same system in the body, triggering a stress response. That’s why emotional or financial stress can feel just as physically intense as physical danger.

So you should learn to relax, right? No.

Here's the thing. Telling yourself to relax isn't enough, which you may already suspect if you’ve been dealing with frequent outbreaks for some time. Relaxation alone won't work because your body is in survival mode. Trying to force your nervous system to relax can even heighten awareness of symptoms. For example, trying to sit still and do nothing may amplify pain or panic. Silence can feel threatening, and deep breathing may trigger anxiety and feel like suffocation, which is why Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) often feel meditation makes their anxiety worse. 

When the nervous system perceives a threat, relaxation doesn't always feel safe because you are "forcing", which is seen as a threat. If a vicious dog were chasing you and someone yelled, "Relax!" Would you stop, turn around, and relax? Doubtful. Your body reacts the same way.

When you tell yourself to "relax," you're asking your thinking brain to override your survival brain. But survival mechanisms do not respond to logic or intention. Trying to push yourself into a state of calm can cause more frustration, tension, shame, or a shutdown. Your body hears "lower your guard" and responds with "No way!" because it still believes the threat is real.

Your nervous system learns through sensation (using your senses), not instruction or command. It doesn't understand concepts like calm, safe, or let go. Positive affirmations, while helpful in other ways, do nothing to ease the nervous system. It responds to movement, rhythm, pressure, temperature, and spatial orientation. You can't just tell it to relax.

By the way, your nervous and immune systems function together. A dysregulated nervous system sends mixed signals of threat to the immune system, which increases inflammation in the body. Inflammation isn't the enemy. It's a repair tool. Problems arise when your body can't turn it off, and the "repair tool" starts damaging it.

So, what causes the nervous system to dysregulate? Stress. But not just any stress. Ongoing stress. And if that seems too general a term, it's because it is and always has been. 

The key takeaway is that you don't relax to regulate your nervous system. You regulate your nervous system to relax. When your nervous system learns that it no longer needs to remain on high alert, inflammation can naturally settle, energy can return, and your body can regain its ability to protect itself and recover.

Stages of Nervous System Dysregulation

Stage 1: Nervous System Dysregulation can start gradually when one or more of these are present, and your body doesn't get enough recovery time. 

• Stress that lasts too long
• Ongoing emotional strain
• Chronic relationship tension
• Financial or other life "pressures" with no relief

Stage 2: Your body doesn’t fully return to normal after stress. Even when the stressful event is over, your body stays alert, emotionally reactive, and physically braced (tense), and over time, it forgets what full relaxation feels like. You might find yourself walking around with your shoulders pulled toward your ears or breathing shallowly. If you take many deep breaths or sigh frequently, it is a sign of tension. Can you remember the last time you were fully relaxed and calm?

Stage 3: Sleep is no longer fully restorative. You may notice any or all of the following symptoms. 

• Sleeping too lightly
• Frequent waking
• Waking too early and not being able to go back to sleep
• Conditions like Sleep Apnea

These conditions can leave you feeling tired and panicky before your feet even hit the floor in the morning. You’ll also run out of energy fairly early on in your day. When you're asleep, your nervous system resets itself. If your sleep is repeatedly disrupted, your body never fully winds down, relaxes, or restores.

Stage 4: In this final stage, you experience too few real “safe” states during the day. If your system rarely experiences deep calm, emotional safety, and unguarded rest, then your nervous system stays in a protective pattern.

Symptoms of Nervous System Dysregulation

Early signs are often subtle. You may pass them off as normal or nothing to worry about. 

• Always feeling a bit tense
• Being easily startled or reactive
• Trouble fully relaxing even when resting
• Feeling tired but wired
• Shallow breathing or chest tightness
• Not feeling refreshed after sleeping

Over time, as it becomes more established, the following symptoms can arise.

• Chronic muscle tension
• Strong body reactions to small triggers
• Anxiety or fear responses without a clear cause
• Sleep that isn't comforting or refreshing
• Difficulty “turning off” internally (mentally, emotionally)

So, How Do You Rebalance the Nervous System?

You don’t rebalance the nervous system by forcing calm, positive thinking, or perfect routines. You rebalance it by changing the signals it receives every day, in small, repeatable, non-dramatic ways. You have to reteach your nervous system to feel safe. I reveal how in my book, The Anti-HSV Cauldron: The 4-Week Plan for Reducing HSV Flares.